经典TED演讲推荐 | 活在你的简历或悼词里

万水整理 TED与纪录片 2019-08-06


TED简介 我们每个人都有两个自我,提出者大卫.布鲁克斯在这里进行了简短的演说:那个渴望成功的自我,也就是简历里的自我,和那个看中人际交往,团队,爱的自我——这种价值观最后形成了一份伟大的悼词。布鲁克斯提出:这两种自我能否达到平衡?

演讲者David Brooks 大卫·布鲁克斯



So I've been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé, which are the skills you bring to the marketplace.


The eulogy virtues are the ones that get mentioned in the eulogy, which are deeper: who are you, in your depth, what is the nature of your relationships, are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency? 

悼词美德是指那些会在你的悼词中,别人提到的话。哪一个更深刻:从内心深处来讲,哪一个才是你。 在人际关系中,你的本质是什么, 大胆的?深情的?值得信任的?还是稳重的? 

And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues. But at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most? And the answer is no.


So I've been thinking about that problem, and a thinker who has helped me think about it is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi who wrote a book called "The Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures, which he called Adam I and Adam II. 


Adam I is the worldly, ambitious, external side of our nature. He wants to build, create, create companies, create innovation. Adam II is the humble side of our nature. Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good,to live in a way internally that honors God, creation and our possibilities. 


Adam I wants to conquer the world. Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world. Adam I savors accomplishment. Adam II savors inner consistency and strength. Adam I asks how things work. Adam II asks why we're here.Adam I's motto is "success." Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."


And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides of our nature are at war with each other. We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value. And the tricky thing, I'd say, about these two sides of our nature is they work by different logics. 


The external logic is an economic logic: input leads to output, risk leads to reward. The internal side of our nature is a moral logic and often an inverse logic. 


You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer the desire to get what you want. In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.


We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I, and often neglects Adam II. And the problem is, that turns you into a shrewd animal who treats life as a game, and you become a cold, calculating creaturewho slips into a sort of mediocrity where you realize there's a difference between your desired self and your actual self. 


You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want, you hope someone will give to you. You don't have the depth of conviction. You don't have an emotional sonorousness. You don't have commitment to tasks that would take more than a lifetime to commit.

你并没有得到你想要的悼词, 你希望别人可以给你。 你没有坚定的信仰。 你没有丰富的情绪。 你并没有一个要花费一生的 时间去实现的承诺。

I was reminded of a common response through history of how you build a solid Adam II, how you build a depth of character. Through history, people have gone back into their own pasts, sometimes to a precious time in their life, to their childhood, and often, the mind gravitates in the past to a moment of shame, some sin committed, some act of selfishness, an act of omission, of shallowness, the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity, trying to be a people-pleaser, a lack of courage. 

纵观历史我得到了一个相同的回答,是告诉你怎样去建立一个坚固的亚当二号,怎样去塑造一个有深度的性格。回首过往,人们可以看到自己的过去,有时候是生命中很珍贵的某个时刻,有时候是童年,更多的,会吸引你的是那些让你感到羞耻的瞬间,一些犯错的时候,比如一些自私的举动,一些欠考虑或者肤浅的行为 一些愤怒时犯的过错,一些自怜自哀时的行为,总是去迎合别人或者缺乏勇气的时候。 

Adam I is built by building on your strengths. Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses. You go into yourself, you find the sin which you've committed over and again through your life, your signature sin out of which the others emerge,and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin, and out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of character is constructed. 


And we're often not taught to recognize the sin in ourselves, in that we're not taught in this culture how to wrestle with it, how to confront it, and how to combat it. We live in a culture with an Adam I mentality where we're inarticulate about Adam II.

同时,我没并没有经常被教导怎么认识到自己的过错, 在现在的文化中我们也没有 被教导怎么去和它们斗争, 怎么去面对它们并,如何它们斗争。 我们生活在一个有着亚当一号心理的社会中, 在这里我们很难表达亚当二号的思想。

Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr summed up the confrontation, the fully lived Adam I and Adam II life, this way:"Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope.Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone;therefore we must be saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by that final form of love, which is forgiveness.”

后,莱因霍尔德·尼布尔 用这种方式总结了生活中亚当一号和亚当二号完全对立的这种存在:“没有一件值得一做的事情,可以在你的一生中完成;因此我们必须用希望来拯救。没有一样真实或者美丽的东西,可以在历史的一瞬展现它的华彩; 因此我们必须用信仰来救赎。没有一件事情,哪怕它是美好的,我们可以独自完成; 因此我们必须用爱来拯救。没有什么善良的行为是完全的善,不论是从朋友,敌人,或者我们自身的角度都是这样。因此我们必须被完全的爱来拯救,也就是用宽容。“








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